If I have to read another story filled with insane grammatical errors that shouldn't even happen while the story was being written, much less if it was even casually glanced at once since it was completed, I just may stop reading entirely.... I'm sorry if that sounds snobbish, but for fuck's sake, it's distracting as all hell.
Oh yeah, and has anyone who's ever worked in customer service ever entertained the notion of calling in a bomb threat to your store because you've been pushed past the point of all reason while dealing with idiot/asshole customers? I came to that point twice this past weekend (and to be fair, so did pretty much everyone else I work with). What the hell is it about White Marsh that makes my store there so much more unbearable than my stores in Lafayette, Indiana and Austin, Texas ever were? Seriously, damn near every one of us who closed work on Sunday were shouting the word "FUCK!" every thirty seconds while we were trying to clean up the store, and I know I wasn't the only one who genuinely wanted to rip out a few customers' large intestines and strangle them with them.
Okay, bitch-fest over. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled program.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
FUCK!
My technological curse struck again. I had my whole presentation written out, then my USB thing decided to die. Just die. One minute the little orange light is shining bright, the next it's gone and my computer can't read the device any more. I still have the rough version written out on several tiny sheets of paper I swiped from work, but now I have to type the whole revised version up in class.
I also had several stories on that flash drive that I honestly don't know if I have backed up anywhere else... if I can't find some way to fix the thing, that will really piss me off....
Monday, February 9, 2009
Garden of Forking Paths 3
This website (http://www.cyberartsweb.org/cpace/ht/htov.html) doesn't have anything to do with Borges' story, but is rather about hypertext as a whole. It's essentially an overview of its nature and applications. The literature page (http://www.cyberartsweb.org/cpace/ht/htlitov.html) was my primary focus, for obvious reasons.
This whole thing got me to thinking about what I believe is called the "alternate universe theory," or something of that nature. As a dork since childhood, I was of course introduced to this basic concept via Star Trek: The Next Generation, but in the past year I've been thinking a lot more about it since reading Philp Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy, which references the infinite number of possible universes created when any person makes even the smallest decision.
I suppose one could create a narrative (I'm guessing it would almost have to be an online narrative) to represent this, with literally hundreds of different "forking paths," so to speak -- some story-altering, some completely (or perhaps just seemingly) innocuous. That would be an interesting experiement, but would also be massively time consuming.
This whole thing got me to thinking about what I believe is called the "alternate universe theory," or something of that nature. As a dork since childhood, I was of course introduced to this basic concept via Star Trek: The Next Generation, but in the past year I've been thinking a lot more about it since reading Philp Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy, which references the infinite number of possible universes created when any person makes even the smallest decision.
I suppose one could create a narrative (I'm guessing it would almost have to be an online narrative) to represent this, with literally hundreds of different "forking paths," so to speak -- some story-altering, some completely (or perhaps just seemingly) innocuous. That would be an interesting experiement, but would also be massively time consuming.
Garden of Forking Paths 2
This is the website (http://www.scribd.com/doc/454118/The-Garden-of-Forking-Paths) where I found the story (tiny print, murder on the eyes) and a small commentary on Borges and his role as a precursor to hypertext authors. Apparently Borges never even wrote a full novel, yet many consider him to be a great pioneer of hypertext narrative.
I started thinking about what the story would be like if it were written with modern media. Would it be a print story at all? If not, would it be as widely read? In an odd way, I kind of like that it's written as a straightforward account and not (to be annoying) a garden of forking paths. Reading the story this way, as the characters in the story had to read the novel-within-the-story, seems fitting. If the story were written as a hypertext document, then it would change entirely (the setting would probably be the first thing to go).
Anyway, I wasn't able to find too much about in the way of hypertext adaptations of this particular story (maybe I just don't know how to look), but I did find quite a bit about hypertext in general.
I started thinking about what the story would be like if it were written with modern media. Would it be a print story at all? If not, would it be as widely read? In an odd way, I kind of like that it's written as a straightforward account and not (to be annoying) a garden of forking paths. Reading the story this way, as the characters in the story had to read the novel-within-the-story, seems fitting. If the story were written as a hypertext document, then it would change entirely (the setting would probably be the first thing to go).
Anyway, I wasn't able to find too much about in the way of hypertext adaptations of this particular story (maybe I just don't know how to look), but I did find quite a bit about hypertext in general.
Garden of Forking Paths 1
My laptop computer sucks monkey testicles, so updating this blog (and especially reading other blogs) from home is never an easy task. I began by simply reading the story straight through (I'll refrain from offering any of my views on the nature of the writing or the story itself), then I managed to come across one website that would actually load for me after searching Wikipedia (I know, I know). This one (http://www.geocities.com/papanagnou/cover.htm) offers more of an explanation of hypertext and Borges' indirect role in its inception, but also links words in the text (written in red) to other, similar words within the story.
On the whole, I'm not all that impressed with this site -- after a few minutes, I grew bored -- but it isn't difficult to understand.
EDIT: I now notice that several other people have mentioned this site as well. At least I'm on the right track.
On the whole, I'm not all that impressed with this site -- after a few minutes, I grew bored -- but it isn't difficult to understand.
EDIT: I now notice that several other people have mentioned this site as well. At least I'm on the right track.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Old Rant
So my blog title has the word "rant" in it, but I haven't gone on one since I started it, and I'm not feeling anything now, so I delved back into my archives and found an epic one from last month, on the day after the Indianapolis Colts' loss in the first round of the playoffs (again) to the Chargers (again) during a year when I thought they could win the Super Bowl (again). Enjoy.
Randy Quaid from Major League II? Yeah, that's me right now. I will now fully expect the Colts and most any other team I follow to tie the nooses around their necks and leap from the balcony come playoff time. If the fucking Indianapolis Colts can't pick up 2 fucking yards (and instead give up an 8-yard sack!), then fuck it, they deserve to go home. The Chicago Cubs? Wo-ho-ho! We don't even need to go there. Texas? If a freshman defensive back holds onto a gift-wrapped interception, they're playing Florida in Miami on Thursday and Colt McCoy is hoisting the Heisman. The Colts? How about winning a damn playoff game.
And to the DJ at the Bayou Cafe where my brother and I had to go because every fucking bar in Maryland closes at 1:00 in the damn morning, who was revelling in the fact that the Colts lost, I should remind you that you're getting your rocks off playing '70s disco music to a crowd of 30-40 year-olds who are trying to recapture their youth (and failing horribly, if the level of botox I saw was any indication) and choosing the most generic songs imaginable ("Disco Inferno"? Really?); you need to take a hard look at your life and wonder where it went wrong.
In the name of all things holy and good in this world, please, Miami Dolphins, destroy the Ravens today. I want to see Ray Lewis so pissed off he goes for the gun in his handbag and threatents to take Ronnie Brown hostage. Wipe the damn smirks off the faces of the assholes at work, especially my store manager who manages to be both a die-hard Ravens AND Cowboys fan (because he'll conveniently forget the wonder of 44-6 in the wake of another Colts early exit, especially to an 8-8 team that always plays them well). Please, Miami, I beg you, embarass the shit out of the Ravens (literally, if you want) just to shut up all the people I know here (ESPECIALLY the ones who are my age or younger and have absolutely no memories of the beloved Baltimore Colts or when they left town, yet still feel the need to act like Inidanapolis is worse than the Steelers).
Peyton? I love you, but what the fuck was that? 17 points? A sack on 3rd and 2 with two minutes left and the Chargers having no timeouts? Hunter Smith? Your one (ONE!) punt that went longer than 40 yards all night outkicks the coverage and lets Darren Fucking Sproles (who I said before the game would be more dangerous than LT) to pick and choose his open lanes.
Fuck Mike Shannahan; whichever team hires him will become a mortal enemy. All you had to do was win ONE GAME IN FOUR. Fuck Jay Cutler, the media's darling, who, for all his boasting, couldn't manage to beat the Buffalo Bills at home.
And to hell with the San Diego Chargers. I now officially hate them more than I used to hate the Patriots. Phillip Rivers? You didn't play that well, son; maybe you should save the boasting for when you do.
Lastly, fuck that stupid coin from the toss. You couldn't have landed on heads? What the fuck, mate? What were you thinking? Now we have to see the Chargers get mauled by the Steelers. I'll never forget you, coin. Never. You are dead, you hear me coin? DEAD! VENDETTA!!!
All right, I've expelled all my pissed off energy. If anyone other than me followed even 1/3 of what I just wrote, I'll consider it a major accomplishment in life.
Randy Quaid from Major League II? Yeah, that's me right now. I will now fully expect the Colts and most any other team I follow to tie the nooses around their necks and leap from the balcony come playoff time. If the fucking Indianapolis Colts can't pick up 2 fucking yards (and instead give up an 8-yard sack!), then fuck it, they deserve to go home. The Chicago Cubs? Wo-ho-ho! We don't even need to go there. Texas? If a freshman defensive back holds onto a gift-wrapped interception, they're playing Florida in Miami on Thursday and Colt McCoy is hoisting the Heisman. The Colts? How about winning a damn playoff game.
And to the DJ at the Bayou Cafe where my brother and I had to go because every fucking bar in Maryland closes at 1:00 in the damn morning, who was revelling in the fact that the Colts lost, I should remind you that you're getting your rocks off playing '70s disco music to a crowd of 30-40 year-olds who are trying to recapture their youth (and failing horribly, if the level of botox I saw was any indication) and choosing the most generic songs imaginable ("Disco Inferno"? Really?); you need to take a hard look at your life and wonder where it went wrong.
In the name of all things holy and good in this world, please, Miami Dolphins, destroy the Ravens today. I want to see Ray Lewis so pissed off he goes for the gun in his handbag and threatents to take Ronnie Brown hostage. Wipe the damn smirks off the faces of the assholes at work, especially my store manager who manages to be both a die-hard Ravens AND Cowboys fan (because he'll conveniently forget the wonder of 44-6 in the wake of another Colts early exit, especially to an 8-8 team that always plays them well). Please, Miami, I beg you, embarass the shit out of the Ravens (literally, if you want) just to shut up all the people I know here (ESPECIALLY the ones who are my age or younger and have absolutely no memories of the beloved Baltimore Colts or when they left town, yet still feel the need to act like Inidanapolis is worse than the Steelers).
Peyton? I love you, but what the fuck was that? 17 points? A sack on 3rd and 2 with two minutes left and the Chargers having no timeouts? Hunter Smith? Your one (ONE!) punt that went longer than 40 yards all night outkicks the coverage and lets Darren Fucking Sproles (who I said before the game would be more dangerous than LT) to pick and choose his open lanes.
Fuck Mike Shannahan; whichever team hires him will become a mortal enemy. All you had to do was win ONE GAME IN FOUR. Fuck Jay Cutler, the media's darling, who, for all his boasting, couldn't manage to beat the Buffalo Bills at home.
And to hell with the San Diego Chargers. I now officially hate them more than I used to hate the Patriots. Phillip Rivers? You didn't play that well, son; maybe you should save the boasting for when you do.
Lastly, fuck that stupid coin from the toss. You couldn't have landed on heads? What the fuck, mate? What were you thinking? Now we have to see the Chargers get mauled by the Steelers. I'll never forget you, coin. Never. You are dead, you hear me coin? DEAD! VENDETTA!!!
All right, I've expelled all my pissed off energy. If anyone other than me followed even 1/3 of what I just wrote, I'll consider it a major accomplishment in life.
Weebl
Weebl? What the hell is that? That was more or less what I said to my girlfriend back before we started dating when she showed me a bunch of videos on this website called Weebl. For one of the most disturbing things you'll ever see (though it's hard to explain why), check out Salad Fingers (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/salad+fingers/) Some of you may have heard of this cartoon, but if you haven't, you should check it out. No doubt, it's fucked up; the music in the background just give me chills. It's incredibly difficult to describe (my take on it is that it's set in some strange sort of post-nuclear world, where deformity and empty spaces are the norm, but it's never explained where this thing takes place); you just have to watch it for yourself.
There are several "episodes," most of them between 3 and 7 mminutes. If they were 20-30 minutes, like a television show, it wouldn't work. Salad Fingers simply cannot be stretched out to a "full-length" running time. If you string all the episodes together, of course, they would make this time, but each episode is both self-contained and part of a larger whole, and wouldn't make sense if presented as a straightforward narrative.
There are many more cartoons on Weebl, too. To check them out, visit http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons
Oh yeah, and a show this bizarre probably wouldn't make it anywhere other than the internet; not even on Adult Swim.
There are several "episodes," most of them between 3 and 7 mminutes. If they were 20-30 minutes, like a television show, it wouldn't work. Salad Fingers simply cannot be stretched out to a "full-length" running time. If you string all the episodes together, of course, they would make this time, but each episode is both self-contained and part of a larger whole, and wouldn't make sense if presented as a straightforward narrative.
There are many more cartoons on Weebl, too. To check them out, visit http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons
Oh yeah, and a show this bizarre probably wouldn't make it anywhere other than the internet; not even on Adult Swim.
Online Comics
I've never read online comics before, though several of my friends have told me I should. I randomly went about looking for some when I found this site (http://www.lorencollins.net/freecomic/) that has tons of links. One in particular struck me: http://www.slate.com/features/911report/001.html a graphic novel-esque version of the 9/11 report. It's fairly straightforward, and really all you have to do is click to advance to the next page.
Something like this probably couldn't be published and sold in stores, however; it would have to be online. Why? The content, of course.
And that got me thinking. On one hand, it seems like exploitation to create a fairly basic comic version of the 9/11 events with little in the way of surprises. Another part of me, though, wonders if maybe this is just one way to deal with what can still be a pretty traumatic event. If you convert it into something that you'd read in an average Spider-Man or Superman comic, it doesn't seem as frightening. Of course, we like to believe that someone like Superman could have stopped those planes from hitting the buildings; maybe by viewing these events in the Superman style, we can pretend he did.
Something like this probably couldn't be published and sold in stores, however; it would have to be online. Why? The content, of course.
And that got me thinking. On one hand, it seems like exploitation to create a fairly basic comic version of the 9/11 events with little in the way of surprises. Another part of me, though, wonders if maybe this is just one way to deal with what can still be a pretty traumatic event. If you convert it into something that you'd read in an average Spider-Man or Superman comic, it doesn't seem as frightening. Of course, we like to believe that someone like Superman could have stopped those planes from hitting the buildings; maybe by viewing these events in the Superman style, we can pretend he did.
Online Narrative... Thing (Part One)
Unlike a few other people, I didn't have much problem finding a cool site with Google. I just typed in "Online narrative + choose your own adventure" into the search thing, and I quickly found this site: http://www.iamcal.com/games/choose/ It's essentially what it sounds like, but when you get to the end of the "official" story, you can continue it yourself. Very zany. The story was a lot like one my girlfriend and I would make up between ourselves on the fly. Maybe I can do something like that with her later on; we already have a few stock characters we could plug in to one of these. This could be fun.
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