Random Thought

My friend Alex came up with this years ago, and it just popped into my head out of nowhere, so now I share it with all of you:

If you're ever in a war, instead of throwing a grenade at someone, you should throw one of those little plastic pumpkins at them.  Maybe it'll get everyone to stop and think about how stupid war is.  Then, while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

Computer Confusion

Seriously now, why is it so hard for me to figure out how to upload anything to the internet?  I had this same problem for our first project, and now I'm stuck on it again.  There's like some block in my head that refuses to let me get this right....

I Should Really Start Betting....

A horse with 50-1 odds won the damn Kentucky Derby. If you had placed a mere $10 on that horse, you'd wake up today with $500. Son of a bitch....

God Bless Middle-Market Baseball

I had an extremely shitty day on Monday, and when I realized we didn't necessarily have to show up to class, I decided out-of-the-blue to go to the Rangers-Orioles game. $15 ticket to sit in the first row in center field on a gorgeous night: not something you could do off the cuff in New York or Boston. Even though the Orioles followed their familiar script (get ahead early, go cold, lose the lead, get momentum in the 9th and make fans think they can pull off a comeback before falling on their faces), it was fun and lifted my spirits a bit.

This also isn't something you can do with football or basketball.

FAIL

So all three stories I submitted for Glimmer Train's "Very Short Fiction" award were rejected. Go me.

Parking

Dear douchebag who took up two spaces in a very crowded Maryland garage today,

Thanks, that was truly wonderful of you.

Signed,
Austin

Dry

I've been very good about the alcohol for the past week and a half. I hope you appreciate it, liver and kidneys....